


Captivated

by sugasneckpillow



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Insecurities, M/M, PanWink - Freeform, kinda popular first year guanlin, minimum angst, ongniel if you squint, popular student jihoon, school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 04:37:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugasneckpillow/pseuds/sugasneckpillow
Summary: A first year's sincerity manages to penetrate the hard walls guarding the heart of a popular student named Park Jihoon.





	Captivated

It was at a party that Lai Guanlin had first met Park Jihoon.

The boy was a flexible little thing, bending his limbs with ease as he focused his energy on his explosive movements. Under the dim lights and the almost deafening music, the boy moved with a perfect balance of grace and strength, sweat glistening on his pale skin as a crowd gathered around him.

“That's called popping,” Seongwoo told Guanlin with a slight tipsy slur. “I learnt that in secondary school. Pretty cool stuff. I haven't seen anyone who could pop as well as he does for a while now.”

The boy attracted everyone's attention. People stopped at the food area or the dance floor or the couches, halting in the middle of their conversations or other activities just to take a good look at who it was that stole the spotlight tonight.

“What's his name?” Guanlin asked, not letting his eyes stray from the boy one second.

When Seongwoo didn't reply, he knew that the other had probably fallen asleep. Taking one last look at Ong Seongwoo and patting his shoulder with a silent apology (for abandoning him in his unconscious, vulnerable state), Guanlin rose from his seat and approached the crowd that surrounded the boy.

Guanlin had never liked parties. They were loud, sweaty, and full of people he didn't want to interact with. That didn’t mean he was an introvert, as Seongwoo had once accused him of being. In fact, he had a pretty big circle of friends, and he took pride in his broad social network within the university. However, inter college parties where strangers were involved just weren't his thing. 

He pushed past the crowd to get a little nearer to the middle. With his height, it wasn't hard to peer through the people and see the boy’s performance in the midst of the crowd.

That's when Guanlin caught sight of the boy smiling up close.

His heart almost stopped.

It was a drop dead gorgeous smile that had graced his features in that one second, accompanied by the obnoxiously loud music and the occasional ‘popping' of his limbs. Even under the dim conditions of the room, Guanlin could make out that angelic turn of the lips, a row of pearl white teeth peeking out in between the two petals of reddish plumpness. 

Guanlin was absolutely captivated. Captivated by all that concentrated power in the small body, captivated by the heart stopping smile, and captivated by those absolutely flawless facial features.

He would have stood there, dazed for the rest of the night, if the boy hadn't stopped after his little show. Guanlin, sadly, was immediately convinced that “all good things come to an end”, just because the boy’s performance had indeed come to an end. 

The crowd clapped, cheering and shouting and throwing flowers and even money. There were whistling and some playful yells of random marriage proposals from boys and girls alike, and at that moment, Guanlin was sure that the boy in the middle of the room had captured the hearts of all who were present to witness his beauty.

“Thank you,” the boy responded to everyone’s support loudly while beaming, his double lidded eyes forming beautiful crescents when he did so. Guanlin felt that his voice suited him; it was just as seraphic, just as wonderful as he presented himself to be.

Not long after, the crowd broke up, and people went back to their own activities again, either showing off some of their moves on the dance floor, guzzling pints of alcohol, gossiping, or hooking up with strangers. 

Guanlin didn't go back to Seongwoo. Seongwoo was a year older than him, so naturally he didn’t need Guanlin to babysit him. 

Instead, Guanlin kept his eyes on the boy who had stolen his attention, and his heart, from the very start. He watched as the boy wiped the sweat off his head and neck with his sleeve and took steady breaths to calm his heartbeat from the vigorous exercise. Several people approached him to give him a pat on the back, and some even tried to strike a conversation with him, showing interest in him as a person. Guanlin also watched as the boy turned them down as quickly as they approached him; he smiled politely when he did so, charming every single one of his wooers even more while shooting them down.

“Excuse me,” a tinkling voice floated into Guanlin’s ears.

Before Guanlin knew it, the boy was already by his side. This time, however, he wasn't smiling, not at all looking like the way he did when he was enjoying himself on the dance floor. 

In fact, it was replaced by a rather annoyed scowl, even though it might not have necessarily been directed at Guanlin, seeing that the boy was paying attention to the things at his eye level (which sadly did not include Guanlin). 

Guanlin looked at him in surprise before he processed the boy’s message.

“Right. Sorry,” he mumbled before he stepped aside, letting the boy through. The boy impatiently brushed past his arm, looking like he was in a hurry to get to somewhere.

“Oh, please, wait.”

Guanlin spoke up before he realized he had actually asked for Jihoon to stay. The boy did not fully turn to him when a smile makes its way to his face, as if the scowl had never been there in the first place.

Yet, his voice was cold like the winter air when it came out of his mouth. “Yes?”

“That was very good. The dancing,” Guanlin said, raising a hand to awkwardly scratch at the back of his head when he felt the boy’s intense gaze on him.

“Oh. Thanks.” There was hardly any warmth in his voice, which was in huge contrast to the reddish summery glow on his face.

Guanlin wondered if he had done anything to make the boy so cold towards him.

“I was wondering…” Guanlin spoke with an uneasy fidget, “if I could have your name?”

“My name?” The boy looked quite amused, and he turned to face Guanlin properly now, as if he was finally worth his interest. “Why?”

“I…”

_Why?_

How was he supposed to answer that?

Just as Guanlin was about to panic and make a fool of himself, Jihoon let out a small chuckle. It was a wonderful sound that was like music to Guanlin’s ears.

“I’m Park Jihoon.”

“That’s a really nice name,” Guanlin blurted without thinking, and he was about to mentally slap himself for being a complete dumbass when he heard another giggle from the other boy. Just hearing his voice made Guanlin feel faint, and knowing that he was the cause of the boy’s laughter made him weak in the knees.

It was the first time that he had felt anything of the such.

“Thank you. You’re new here?” Jihoon’s voice seemed to have warmed up a bit, and Guanlin felt his shoulders relax as he adjusted to the other’s presence.

"Well, yes… first year here.”

“Nice.” Jihoon stared at him, folding his arms in front of his chest. He was shorter than Guanlin, but he seemed quite well built for his height and age. He wasn’t buff, but Guanlin could clearly see the defined lines of contracted muscle in his arms when he crossed them over his black short sleeved tee. “Do you dance?”

Guanlin jolted up when Jihoon spoke again, stopping guiltily in the midst of admiring the other’s body.

“No,” he quickly answered before the other could get suspicious. “Not at all.”

“A pity,” Jihoon said, shaking his head. Guanlin suddenly wanted to change his answer, just so he could please the other.

_What is with me? I’m not quite myself tonight._

“You do other sports, then?”

“Basketball.” Guanlin’s lips gave way to a gummy smile when he brought up a subject of his interest. Basketball was one of the things that Guanlin had truly invested in, and after he entered uni, he immediately found himself enrolling for the team so he could continue playing the sport he was so passionate about.

Jihoon seemed to have caught up in a little daze himself. When Guanlin asked him what was wrong, the other boy blinked himself out of his trance and shook his head.

“What’s your name?” Jihoon asked, his voice now completely softened, drifting into Guanlin’s ears like a fluffy cloud.

“Lai Guanlin,” he replied, feeling a little light headed from being asked his name.

When Jihoon heard that, he looked a little surprised. “You’re not from here?”

“No, I lived in Taiwan before I came here.”

“Oh,” Jihoon said with a frown. “Well-”

He was cut off by a change of music, suddenly switching from EDM trap to 80s pop. The people cheered and chanted their own version of the nostalgic lyrics of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Want To Have Fun’.

Jihoon’s breath caught, and he fumbled quickly for something in his pockets. It only took a moment before he fished out a sports watch and looked at it with slight panic.

“Shoot, I’m late for my date,” he said, backing a few steps with an apologetic look on his face. “I’ll see you around, maybe.”

Guanlin didn’t even have time to say goodbye when the boy left and vanished without a trace.

He had never felt so dejected in his whole life.

* * *

The second time Guanlin had bumped into Jihoon, it was at a basketball match.

Though Guanlin was only a first year and was new to the team, he was such a valuable addition that the coach decided that he was definitely an asset they had to make use of.

Unbeknownst to Guanlin, people of different ages came to the stadium just to have a look at the handsome, energetic, talented first year that had become the star of the basketball team, also rumoured to be the rookie that had almost stolen the spotlight from the basketball team captain, Kang Daniel.

“I brought a few friends over to cheer you on,” said Seongwoo happily when he munched away on his apple pie. “And a few friends of friends. Go kick some ass!”

Guanlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Needless to say, Seongwoo was not here to cheer him on, but to wholeheartedly support Kang Daniel with his mind and soul. He found it strangely humorous that his friend had kept claiming that he came with ‘pure intentions of a friend’ when he would call out Kang Daniel’s name every time their team scored something.

“You reserved seats for us, right?”

“Yes,” Guanlin said, sighing.

“The best of the best?”

“You mean the middle front? Yes." Guanlin was impatient already, but before he could scold Seongwoo, the other boy had already cheerfully bounced his way up the stairs to the spectators’ stand, where his bunch of friends were seated waiting.

Guanlin let his eyes roam across the bunch of people, recognizing one or two of them from several gatherings Ong Seongwoo had managed to pull him into.

There was Lee Daehwi and Bae Jinyoung, widely recognized as the youngest campus sweethearts. Beside them sat Yoon Jisung and Kim Jaehwan, who were friends with Kang Daniel and had known Seongwoo through their shared BBA courses. The rest that were present included Park Woojin, who was the vice captain of the dance team, and the one on his right...

Guanlin felt himself freeze when he recognized the beautiful eyes of the young boy next to Park Woojin.

Park Jihoon.

After that night at the party, Guanlin had took the time to find out who Park Jihoon was.

It turned out that he was an extremely popular boy here in Seoul University, having charmed everyone with a cute wink in one of his dance showcases last year. Someone had recorded the showcase and posted the video online, and the part with him winking had gone viral not just on the school forum but across the internet, which slowly increased his fame.

Apart from being extremely talented in dancing, he also excelled in his studies and had a very broad circle of friends. He was bright, lovable and attractive, but seemed so unapproachable because of his achievements.

To many, Park Jihoon was like a god.

This explained why people approached him so quickly and had afterwards so quietly let themselves be turned down by Jihoon. This was just part of Jihoon’s everyday routine: receiving and rejecting confessions every second.

“He’s dating a girl from my class, I can’t remember her name,” Seongwoo had said once when he discovered Guanlin’s particular interest in Park Jihoon. “She’s a lucky one. But I reckon they won’t last, because they never do.”

Guanlin’s heart had dropped knowing that Jihoon was dating. He already had the horrid feeling in his stomach when Jihoon had left him to catch up with his supposed ‘date’ that night. 

The most embarrassing and unbearable element of this story was that Guanlin knew he had developed a small crush on the boy since the party, but the boy was clearly, absolutely straight. 

“Guanlin?”

Guanlin spun around and met the eyes of his basketball captain, Kang Daniel.

“The match is going to begin soon. You should have started stretching a while ago.”

“I did that already, hyung,” Guanlin said with a reassuring pat on his captain’s shoulder. “I’ve warmed up, too.”

When Daniel saw the beads of sweat on Guanlin’s skin, he nodded and returned the gesture of patting the shoulder. 

“Good, good. Just get your head in the game, alright?”

“You just don’t want me staring at your boyfriend,” Guanlin teased, ducking immediately as Daniel attempted to pinch his cheeks.

“You little brat,” Daniel said with a grin before waving at the spectator’s stand. Guanlin didn’t have to look to know it was Seongwoo he was waving to.

The whistle sounded, and Guanlin bended himself over and laid his hands on his knees, watching the ball closely. Their team had taken the ball, and he was waiting for the chance to score a point. Having been entrusted the important position as a centre, he had the job of securing the points for his team near the hoop.

“Guanlin!” he heard one of his team’s players shout, and his eyes quickly followed the ball that had been passed to him. One of the other team’s players jumped in front of him to block the pass, but Guanlin was too tall for him and had successfully received the ball from his teammate. In the blink of an eye, he had made a jump shot and successfully thrown the ball into the hoop.

“Score!”

The rest of the match felt quite unfair, since Kang Daniel and Lai Guanlin had completely stolen the spotlight from the other team, scoring points one after another, even playing the roles of an iron defense when the other team tried to make it to the hoop.

However, in the middle of the match, something unexpected had happened.

The power forward of the rival team, a boy Guanlin had recognized as Ha Minho, had deliberately tripped and even pushed him in the midst of the competition. Guanlin, who had been more focused on the ball than his footing, had collapsed right away. With that mighty a force, he would have broken a jaw from the impact, but luckily he was able to let his hands become his defense in the last second, and he landed on his ring and pinky finger with a small _clack_.

No one had known how bad the injury was until Lai Guanlin groaned and clutched desperately onto his wounded hand while writhing on the ground.

“Hyung!” A teammate in the same year as him, Yoo Seonho, came running immediately to his aid, worriedly looking at him and placing a hand on his shoulder. Other teammates gathered around him, surveying his body to see if it was serious.

It was serious. Guanlin’s bones in the ring and pinky finger had obviously cracked when he had tripped and fallen his entire weight on them.

“You need to go to the hospital to have that treated,” Kang Daniel said with a rare serious look on his face. “Can you walk?”

Guanlin could, but the pain engulfed him whole, and he cried out when it jolted up his spine.

* * *

Jihoon stood up in shock from the stand when he saw the boy drop onto the ground with an expression of pain on his face. The crowd was in an uproar too, and he could see people, especially girls, around him crying out in worry.

“Ohmygod, is Guanlin okay?”

“Oh no, he might have broken something.”

“How could this happen? Poor Linlin!”

Jihoon didn't know Guanlin was so popular until now, really. The foreigner had approached him so suddenly that night at the party that Jihoon didn't have a chance to have a good look at him.

But Jihoon remembered him. Very clearly.

Jihoon recalled the night he had met Guanlin. The boy's face was lit up by the most beautiful and innocent smile and it nearly caught Jihoon off guard.

Here, it was hard to find someone who was so sincere, and it was harder to find someone who would interact with him with pure intentions. After meeting so many of the trash in the community who tried to get close to him for popularity, for sex, or for other benefits, Guanlin’s appearance was refreshing.

Sadly, Jihoon had little time to get to know the boy, since he had to, out of obligation, rush to his dinner date with a girl he could barely remember the name of.

Every week, Woojin would ask him if he wanted to watch the basketball game in the morning, since he ‘had connections’ and ‘could get good seats for the both of them’. Jihoon would usually decline. He wasn’t a sports person, unless you counted dancing as a sport, which he didn’t. He considered it an art. He also avoided any kind of mass events, just so he didn’t have to see the people he had rejected so frequently.

He was about to turn down Woojin’s offer when he recalled the boy named Guanlin introducing himself as a part of the basketball team. With his curiosity piqued, he decided to come with Woojin.

He wasn’t sure if he was glad that he came after witnessing such an incident.

Slowly, Jihoon dropped back down onto his seat. He could hear his friends next to him crying out for Guanlin. Seongwoo, the senior he had met through Woojin, was especially restless, belting out angered shouts at the man who tripped his friend. 

Though it was hard to see the full process, it was clear to them all that a person from the opposite team had deliberately caused Guanlin to fall.

Jihoon watched while his hands grasped down on the sides of his chair, suddenly feeling nervous for the young boy twisting and turning on the floor. His brows twitched when he saw the medical staff carry in a stretcher and kneel down next to the boy, hoisting him up slowly and frantically gesturing at Guanlin, telling him things that Jihoon could not hear.

“That’s Ha Minho,” Woojin said to Jihoon as he clicked his tongue in disgust. “Known for being sly in competitions, finding angles that the referee cannot see to cause injury to the other team.”

“That’s horrible,” Jihoon responded, his eyes shifting from Guanlin to the man who looks only half concerned as he stands on the side. Ha Minho. He frowned, feeling anger bubbling uncontrollably inside him. “What a fox.”

“I’m going down to check on Guanlin,” he heard faintly in the midst of the noise of the crowd. Jihoon turned and saw Seongwoo jolting up from his seat and preparing to leave. “I’m sorry that this was the first game you had to see, Jihoon.”

Jihoon waved his hands. “Don’t worry about it.” 

He smiled at Seongwoo to reassure him. Inside, he didn't really feel like smiling. Not after what had happened. He felt somewhat like _he_ was the one who needed reassuring. Needed reassuring that, well, this bright boy he had met in the party was going to be fine.

“Hey,” Jihoon called out before Seongwoo turned to leave. When Seongwoo raised a brow at him, he stood up from his chair. “Can I go with you?”

“With me?” Seongwoo repeated, surprised. “To see Guanlin?”

Jihoon nodded, unsure of what else to say.

“You know him?” Woojin asked, cocking his head to look at his best friend in shock. “Since when?”

“Well, Jihoon,” Seongwoo’s expression relaxed when he saw the slight panic on Jihoon’s features. He gave him a comforting smile but shook his head. “I thank you in Guanlin’s place for your concern, but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for you to skip classes to check on Guanlin in the hospital. Especially when… well, you’re not that close, are you?”

Jihoon opened his mouth to retort but quickly shut it, because there was no way he could argue against that. Ong Seongwoo was absolutely right. In fact, he and Guanlin were barely even _friends_.

“We met at a party and became acquainted,” Jihoon explained to Seongwoo before he could embarrass himself any further with his unreasonable concern for the boy who was almost a stranger to him. “Please send my regards to him.”

Seongwoo eyed him suspiciously, as if he found it hard to believe that Guanlin would ever become friends with Jihoon.

Jihoon didn’t blame him. Ong Seongwoo had a reason to doubt it.

Guanlin looked pure and genuine. Jihoon was anything but that. People close to him knew that his smile was only for show, and his pretty looks shielded his hidden weariness towards society and human interaction.

“I will,” however, was all Seongwoo had said before leaving.

When he left, Jihoon sat back down and ran his hand through his hair to calm himself down.

“What’s up with you?” Woojin asked, frowning. “Who’s Guanlin to you?”

“No one,” he answered before his mind told him otherwise.

* * *

The third time they met was at another party.

Jihoon propped an elbow on the arm of the chair next to the food bar and leaned into his palm. This was again one of the many parties he’d been invited to participate. Invited, of course, by people that he didn’t know existed until they texted him.

 _“How’d you get my number?”_ He tried asking once.

 _“Through a few friends of friends,”_ they all explained, and apologized with little sincerity.

After a couple more times, he decided to give up on asking altogether. They would all tell the same answer anyway. The only reason Jihoon hadn’t trashed his number was because it was too much of a hassle to change it. 

Over and over again, he would tell himself to stop going to strangers’ parties. Yet, old habits die hard. He’d found that socializing was a way to life; an obligation, a duty. A very taxing one, actually, but he realized that he had gotten used to it for a while. Especially after he’d understood the importance of connections and relations in a community, and especially when one had the ambition to succeed.

He had never looked forward to any of the parties.

But this one was different.

Jihoon’s eyes scanned the crowd, peering through the sweaty bodies and squinting to look at the numerous tall figures in the room. None of them seemed to match the characteristics of whom he had wished to find.

“Um.”

Jihoon could hardly resist the urge to roll his eyes because _obviously_ he wanted time alone right now. This person just couldn't seem to take the hint.

“What?” he turned and asked in the most polite way possible in his state of utter frustration.

But when he saw who it was, his jaw dropped.

“Guanlin?” Jihoon exclaims, shooting up from his seat to greet the tall figure in front of him.

The foreigner stood awkwardly beside him, his hands held together in front like a guilty child waiting to be reprimanded. He wore a plain black shirt that was tucked in a pair of jeans, which made his legs look like they were a few metres long. His slightly shaggy dark brown hair draped down and reached the lashes of his eyes, the two orbs almost twinkling in the dark. Jihoon could see some hints of reddish brown tracing the lines of his eyes, and he figured it was eyeshadow. 

Did the boy dress up for the occasion?

Who did he dress up for? Perhaps there was someone he wanted to impress at the party?

Jihoon frowned at the thought but that didn’t stop him from admiring the other’s looks. Lai Guanlin was _breathtaking_ tonight. 

Jihoon swallowed as he gazed at the younger boy, while the other shifted a little nervously in front of him. When he fidgeted around, Jihoon noticed the white that was wrapped around his left hand. 

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked, eyeing the thick bandage. It had been a week and a half since the incident already, but the injury must have been pretty bad to not have healed even after such a long time.

“I am,” the boy answered, a bright smile almost immediately lighting up his face. Jihoon had to blink twice to snap himself out of a trance when he glanced at the boy’s wonderful curve of the lips. “I heard from Seongwoo that you sent me your regards.”

“Yes,” Jihoon dropped his head a little, remembering Seongwoo’s words. 

_You’re not that close, are you?_

“By the way, I heard from Woojin that you would be here, so I came.” Guanlin’s smile spread even wider, his beautiful row of teeth showing through. “I really want to get to know you.”

“Me too,” Jihoon replied. His shoulders relaxed, knowing that the other boy had come to see him, and him only. He couldn’t resist a smile when he realized that Guanlin had dressed up to see him, too. “Come sit with me.”

As the night went on and Guanlin took the seat next to his, Jihoon’s mind stopped working ike it usually would and his whole being felt relieved from any of the previous stress. His brain didn’t have to twist to find suitable replies in his conversation with Guanlin. His smiles were no longer pretend. He didn’t have to fake anything.

He was being him, for once.

“I really liked seeing you dance,” Guanlin told him when he looked into his eyes like no one else existed in the room. Jihoon’s heart skipped a beat when the boy added, “You are so amazing.”

“I’m not,” Jihoon hesitated before he spoke up, and he gave Guanlin a sad smile. “I’m anything but amazing.”

Fake, ambitious, and hateful. That was the true Jihoon, a side that he would never wish upon anyone to witness.

But when Guanlin’s right hand touched his thigh to comfort him, it really seemed like none of his ugly traits existed. In front of Guanlin, Jihoon was genuine. Jihoon was angelic. Jihoon was _himself_.

As the night grew darker, the noises got quieter, and the crowd got smaller, Jihoon knew that it was almost time for them to part.

He’d gotten to know a lot about Lai Guanlin. He loved basketball and rapping. He looked up to someone from the idol group Pentagon called Jung Wooseok. He moved from Taiwan because his parents got a new work project in Seoul. He rarely went to parties, and this was his second one.

“Your first party was when we met?” Jihoon raises a brow in surprise.

“Yes, I’m not really cool,” Guanlin admitted sheepishly. Jihoon’s heart softened once again. “How about you? Do you come to parties often?”

Jihoon’s smile froze on his face and his breath caught when he heard the question.

“Yes,” he murmured slowly, reluctant to talk about any topic that could potentially reveal the ugly side of him. “Yes I do.”

“I heard you’re very popular,” Guanlin beamed at him. “You must get invited very often.”

“You’re right.” Jihoon rubbed his sweaty palm on his pants as he held his signature smile. “Excuse me, I have to go.”

“Wait!” Guanlin gasped and grabbed onto Jihoon’s hand. “You haven’t told me much about yourself yet.”

“It’s late, kid.” The weariness was showing through Jihoon’s voice. 

Lai Guanlin's grasp only tightened. He didn't look like he had any intention of letting him go.

Jihoon then saw something, something so incredibly wonderful, spark up in the other's eyes. 

He didn't know if it was wishful thinking. Perhaps it was.

But it looked like affection. 

Sincere affection for Park Jihoon. Not for his popularity, not for his mask of perfection, not for his pretend smile, but for Park Jihoon himself.

Affection, and concern. He was aware that he had said something that made Jihoon uncomfortable, but he was also panicking because he didn't know where it went wrong.

“Please stay. I'm sorry,” Guanlin pleaded as he looked up at him.

_What are you sorry for? Something that you haven't even done wrong?_

“Please hear me out.”

“I like you.”

Jihoon heart skipped a beat at the sudden confession that poured from the boy's mouth, watching as the other's face and neck reddened with embarrassment. It sounded so nice. It sounded so perfect, coming from his lips.

He almost melted at the young boy's whimper. He wanted to say it back.

It's stupid, really. To care so much about someone he had only met for three times. But perhaps three is the golden number, and it was all that took to make Jihoon fall for the younger.

Yet, being his dumb stubborn self, he believed that the walls guarding his heart were strong as steel. They certainly weren't walls that a pure youth like Lai Guanlin could easily penetrate. No.

Jihoon could turn him down. He'd done it for years to people around him anyway.

“My girlfriend is waiting for me,” he replied coldly before he could think it through.

He didn't know why he said that. He shouldn't have said that. Not only was it not true, it also put a greater distance between him and a boy whom he was barely even close with.

Jihoon hated himself even more when he saw the expression on the other's face. Lai Guanlin looked utterly heartbroken.

Jihoon wanted to bury his head into his hands.

What was such a pure boy doing around Jihoon, this ridiculous excuse of a person?

The warm grasp around his wrist finally loosened, and though Jihoon’s heart squeezed painfully as he turned, he didn’t look back when he left the room.

* * *

“Hey.” Woojin sat down next to Jihoon after one of their dance practices for a short break. They were out of breath and the room stank of sweat. “You’ve been acting kind of strange lately.”

Jihoon stared back at him and said nothing. Then he grabbed his bottle and chugged down all the water in one go.

Woojin looked at him and rolled his eyes. They sat there for a while, catching their breaths and thinking of things that would better go unspoken.

Finally, Woojin broke the silence. “Seongwoo hyung talked to me. He doesn’t like you.”

Jihoon gripped tighter onto his water bottle.

“I think you know why,” Woojin added. He was prompting him to speak. 

“So? A lot of people dislike me.”

“Yes, that’s true. But a lot of people _like_ you, too. For example, the cool first year from the basketball club.” Woojin peered at Jihoon and saw that he didn’t budge.

Woojin sighed. “Having been friends with you for… how many years? Eight? I know you more than anyone. So don’t think you can lie to me about your feelings.”

“You like him back, don’t you? Not as a friend.”

Jihoon jolted from his position and looked at Woojin with widened eyes. “Of course I don’t!”

“Sure. Then why did you break up with Mina right after the night you saw Lai Guanlin?”

“Because…”

Jihoon remembered the rage he felt burning deep inside him the night he parted with the boy. The anger towards himself for using such a lowly excuse to leave and being like a coward in front of Lai Guanlin. The anger towards his girlfriend for taking up an important place in his life, but failing to make him feel anything he felt towards the young boy he’d met in the party.

“See? Look at you.” Woojin nodded towards the crushed plastic bottle in Jihoon’s left hand. “Stop being like this. Find Lai Guanlin. Apologize for whatever you did. The boy doesn’t deserve to be hurt like that, even though I’m not sure of the details of what happened. Then fucking _confess_.”

“It’s not that simple,” Jihoon muttered. He threw the bottle hard across the room and watched as it bounced off the mirror in front of them.

He had a chance to look at his frazzled self in the mirror. His hair was a mess, some of the strands sticking to his face because of the sweat. He saw eye bags and dark circles, a result of lost sleep. He saw paled, unhealthy complexion from the lack of a proper diet for the past week and small bursts of acne on his usually perfect skin because of the stress and his messed up sleep schedule.

Jihoon looked terrible, and this was the first time he noticed it.

“Now you’re listening.” Woojin shakes his head and trails Jihoon’s dazed line of sight to the image in the mirror. “You’ve been looking like this for the past two weeks. You probably haven’t noticed, considering how disgusted you look right now seeing yourself.”

“I’m so gross,” Jihoon cried out as he buried himself in his hands.

“You are,” Woojin scoffed, but only with half seriousness.

“I’m so tired.” Jihoon’s voice could only be barely heard in Woojin’s ears. Thankfully the room was empty except for the two of them, and the silence allowed his words to be audible.

“I don’t know why you make things so hard for yourself,” Woojin replied, his hand coming up to pat his friend’s shoulder. He could feel Jihoon tremble gently under him, and he could hear the soft, muffled cries.

“I don’t either,” Jihoon wavered as he spoke, and he swallowed hard to let his voice come through. “I’m so stressed with everything.”

“I would be if I were you.” Woojin laughed gently. “Not only did you take up the dance club vice president position, but you also took up the responsibility of being the star of the student community.”

Jihoon looked up from his arms, his eyes puffy and his nose red. “You’re mocking me, you asshole.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying it’s hard to live up to everybody’s expectations of you. Being popular isn’t necessarily a good thing, I know that. This has been bothering you for so long, and it has taken a toll on you. It’s one thing to be popular in secondary school but it’s definitely something else now that we’re… mini adults in a mini society.”

Jihoon stayed quiet, chewing on his lower lip as he listened. Woojin was right. When he was younger, being popular didn’t mean a lot. People liked you, admired you, but that was it. There was hardly anything to demand from you, other than constant good grades and constant good looks, which of course was not that big a challenge for Park Jihoon.

But he grew up. Expectations became bigger, greater. They wanted him to stick to his image. They neglected the fact that he was human and that he was 90% made of emotions. They failed to look past his smile and fake kindness. None of them wanted to know the real him.

“I picked girls who seemed genuinely interested to get to know me,” Jihoon mumbled. “Mina was closest to what I wanted, but I…”

“But you didn’t like her that way?” Woojin stood up and plopped down in front of Jihoon, narrowing his eyes at him. “Because you liked someone else?”

Jihoon jutted his lower lip out and looked away from his friend, who groaned in frustration.

“See, this is what’s wrong with you. You’re not even true to yourself, how should you expect to be able to trust people with your inborn nature!” Woojin growled and leaned forward. “Look, you idiot. I’m going to make you a fucking bucket list of things you have to do _in school_.”

“First, stop trying to look happy when you _aren’t_. And stop going to parties! Stop acting nice to people that don’t deserve your kindness. And stop making yourself seem perfect, it’s honestly so disgusting.” Woojin faked a gag and Jihoon pushed him with his feet, sticking his tongue out. The other boy rolled back from the loss of balance, but quickly got back into his position after a small laugh.

“And of course,” Woojin added with his signature snaggletooth smile. “Just be yourself and do whatever the fuck you want, because you are the ruler of your life, and no one else should have any say in it.”

“Wow,” Jihoon breathed. “That is the deepest shit I have ever heard you say in your whole life.”

“Uh, excuse me,” Woojin mocked a hurt expression, putting a hand over his chest. “I’m a deep quote generator, what do you mean.”

“I mean thank you.” Jihoon winked at Woojin, knowing that it was the cringiest thing to do and that Woojin hated his wink with a burning passion.

His best friend choked on his saliva and pointed threateningly at Jihoon with his water bottle.

* * *

“Do you want to go to the open dance practice?” Seongwoo looked at Guanlin with concerned eyes as he nudged him gently. “We don’t have to.”

“I don’t know.” The tall boy next to him slumped in his chair, his loose fringes messily draped in front of his eyes. “You should go though. Woojin invited you himself anyway.”

“He sent a text to invite you too, didn’t he?” Seongwoo clasped a hand on Guanlin’s shoulder and leaned in to talk, lowering his voice so that no one else in the almost empty lecture hall could hear them. “You know, right? That Park Jihoon broke up with Mina-”

“I don’t want to hear her name,” groaned Guanlin turning over so that his back was facing Seongwoo. He leaned into the seat next to seat until he was fully settled in a half lying position.

“Dude, get up.” Seongwoo kicked the boy’s leg several times but he received no response. Sighing, he shook his head.

“What do you like about him anyway? I’m sure it’s just a small crush? You’ll get over him soon. I’ll introduce you to someone better.”

Guanlin shifted in his seat but continued staying silent.

“Look here, mister. I can’t help you like this. Not when you’re lying here like a deformed piece of non recyclable trash.” Seongwoo poked at the boy’s thigh a few times to get his attention.

Guanlin cocked his head up and threw an irritated look towards Seongwoo. Then he returned to his position and curled up into a large ball, legs awkwardly trying to fit on the two small seats.

“It’s not a small crush,” muttered Guanlin, his voice slightly muffled. “I really like him.”

“Why?” Seongwoo asked, the disbelief seeping from his voice. “I’d say he’s all looks-”

“He’s not,” Guanlin retorted, almost kicking Seongwoo when he uncurled himself and sat up. Seongwoo flexibly avoided the unexpected attack, grimacing at the angry spark in the boy’s pupils.

“Okay, okay. Fine. Calm down.” Seongwoo rolled his eyes, though still quite shocked that his friend had acted that way towards his casual comment.

“He’s so beautiful.” Guanlin turned towards Seongwoo and looked at him with half focused eyes, supporting his chin with his palm as he rested his elbow on his knee. “Inside and outside. But he doesn’t know it.”

“Just what are you talking about?” Seongwoo blinked a few times and stood up from his seat, frowning. “Are you hearing yourself right now? You seem _infatuated_.”

“Seongwoo, sit down, come on.” Guanlin chuckled slowly and Seongwoo’s reaction and grabbed his friend’s wrist, pulling him down onto the seat next to him. “Don’t you think he appears to be too perfect sometimes?”

“Yes, but that’s what makes it so _fake_ ,” Seongwoo sighed, obliging as he took the seat next to Guanlin’s. “He’s too perfect to be true. And the fact that he never stays loyal to one girl just proves my point.”

“A box may appear beautiful on the outside, but you never know what it contains. Yet, with just one tiny little crack, you can peer through and have a glimpse of the inside.”

“You’re saying the fact he switches girlfriends every once in a while is that so-called ‘little crack’?”

Guanlin shrugged. He rolled up his left sleeve and took one long glance at his watch.

“Should we go?” Seongwoo nodded towards his watch and asked Guanlin, though both of them knew the answer already.

Guanlin raised a brow at him and stood up from his seat.

“I’m free.” An indirect response to the question.

As the university’s dance team had massive popularity, the open dance practices that took place in the football court were always crowded with people. Girls and boys cheered for their friends and favourites, contributing to the lively atmosphere on top of the loud music blasting from the speakers.

By the time Guanlin and Seongwoo had arrived at the court, the dance practice had already started. By name, it was a dance practice. In reality, it was a whole performance. The first years got their time to shine by dancing freestyle in turns after forming a small circle. Though that segment was hot among the crowd, the cheering eventually got louder as the icons of the dance team made their appearance on the field.

The all-rounded star, Kang Daniel. Campus sweethearts Bae Jinyoung, Lee Daehwi. President of the dance team, Park Woojin. And lastly, Park Jihoon, vice president of the dance team, who is also today’s host of the open dance practice.

Guanlin’s eyes landed on the petite figure in the middle of the field. They were standing far away from each other, but Guanlin still managed to catch the small signs of fatigue and displeasure on his beautiful face.

_What’s bothering you?_

“Thank you all for coming today. It’s a true honour to be able to perform for all of you hardworking students, to be able to reward your efforts with a little bit of entertainment that we have prepared with sincere hearts. As always, we hope that you can enjoy our open dance practice and let the music take your stress or burden away from you.”

His wonderful voice flowed soothingly into Guanlin’s ears, like it did when both of them had first met at the party.

“Come join us and dance your worries away! We present to you, Seoul University’s dance team!”

The students cheered and flooded into the field as the music went on again, crowding around the dance team’s star members and anticipating their performances close up.

“Guanlin?” Seongwoo threw an unspoken question towards the boy next to him, and Guanlin didn’t have to be told twice to start heading down the spectators stand towards the field.

As his vision cleared and he got closer, Guanlin stopped. The noise seemed to fade around him as he recalled the first night he had met the mesmerizing beauty, Park Jihoon.

It seemed very much like that night.

Guanlin’s tall figure made his way through the people as he still managed to keep an eye on the boy in the middle due to his height advantage. 

Jihoon was dancing again. His movements flowed smoothly, and he controlled the angles of his limbs so that they matched the beat. Even for every little jump and shuffle, he managed them with grace and elegance. He oozed with explosive charisma, though he exerted the slightest of efforts in doing so.

It didn’t take much time for Guanlin to arrive close to the front, close enough to reach out and touch Park Jihoon.

It also didn’t take much time for Park Jihoon to notice that he was standing there, right in front of him, in awe of his dancing like the very first time they had met.

Jihoon’s movements came to a halt and he stared at Guanlin. His arms retracted towards himself, and he stood back in place, with shock written all over his face.

“Our vice president’s freestyle dancing segment is finished! Did you all enjoy that?” Woojin was there to save the atmosphere, and he soon got Jihoon’s fans and other students all over the place cheering messily in response.

“Now it’s our precious basketball player and b-boy professional to showcase his skills, give our man some applause!”

Jihoon stood there, his eyes finally meeting Guanlin’s. They did not even waver the slightest bit when people brushed past the two of them to get a closer look at Daniel’s freestyle performance. It was like the two of them were in a world of their own. And indeed, they were.

Jihoon’s smile faltered for the first time in the day.

“Excuse me, hello!” A girl’s voice snapped the both of them from their daze, and they turned towards the girl beaming up at Jihoon. She shamelessly held out a piece of paper with meticulously designed fonts and images.

“I’m hosting a party this weekend, and it’d be great if-”

“Sorry, he’s not free.” Guanlin took a step forward and snatched the piece of paper from the girl’s grasp, his gaze stern as he stared down at the girl.

“Really? Just Saturday night, an hour or two? I suppose we could even make it-”

“He’s not free,” Guanlin repeated, his tone hardening with a warning edge. The girl shot him a strange look before turning away, muttering something about ‘annoying brat’ and ‘first year’, probably bitter that Guanlin had so blatantly turned her down for Jihoon.

“How am I not free?”

Jihoon’s voice was light as a feather, so softly worded that Guanlin knew right away he was afraid. Afraid, and ashamed. And also thankful.

“Because you would rather do anything else,” Guanlin replied without any hesitation. Jihoon’s eyes widened. “Anything other than going to parties and _smiling_ like that.”

Slowly, Guanlin held out his hand and touched Jihoon’s cheek, something he had wanted to do for so long. The skin felt smooth and cool against his hand, and Guanlin used his thumb to pull down on a corner of Jihoon’s lips.

“Unless I’m wrong.” Guanlin didn’t remove his hand from Jihoon’s cheek, wanting to cradle it gently, and tell him that he liked him. That he treasured him. That he hoped that Jihoon could give him a chance to prove himself to him.

“You’re not,” Jihoon finally answered, his hand coming up to touch the fluttering fingers on his face, wrapping his smaller fingers around the big hand and putting it flat against his cheek.

“You’re so nice to me. Why?” He leaned gently into Guanlin’s warm palm as he stared into his eyes. “You don’t know me.”

“Then let me know you.” Guanlin ducked his head down to take a closer look at the smaller boy in front of him, their faces only inches apart. “Tell me your favourite colour.”

Jihoon cocked his head. “Pink.”

“Favourite food?”

“Fried chicken.”

“What do you hate the most?”

Jihoon’s urge to smile suddenly dropped, and his eyes wandered towards the ground, seemingly avoiding contact with the person in front of him.

“Tell me,” Guanlin said, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. Jihoon flinched slightly, and he swallowed.

“I hate people.”

“Then so be it,” Guanlin laughed, pulling the other into his chest as he wrapped his long arms around the other. “So do I. Remember how I told you I rarely went to parties? It’s because I dislike interacting with strangers. It tires me.”

Jihoon, still caught in mild surprise as he leaned into the boy’s embrace, slowly let himself melt into the warmth of the younger. He listened to the rapid thumping of the heart in the boy’s chest, one that matched with his very own heartbeat. They were nervous, they were excited.

They liked each other.

“Hey, Park Jihoon.”

“Yes?”

“I like you.

"You've captivated me since the beginning.

I like the way you focus only on your movements as you dance, like nothing else matters around you. I like your amazing aura. I like how you display such daring confidence as soon as you step on stage.

I like you because you’re incredibly caring and kind hearted. I like you, because you’re not perfect.”

Guanlin rested his chin on the soft brown hair, sighing. “No one is perfect, Jihoon. No one should be.”

“What, did Woojin tell you all this?” Jihoon’s arms came up to wrap around the other’s waist, leaning away from the other to peer up at his face. “About my worries?”

“No, I hear rumours. Telling me different things about you. None of them match my own description from just now,” Guanlin murmured, his dimple showing as he gave Jihoon an adoring smile. “They’re wrong about you. Stop listening to them.”

“They say I’m unapproachable.”

“You’re not.”

“They say I’m fake.”

“You’re not.”

“They say I’m-”

“Does it matter?” Guanlin cut the Jihoon off, raising a brow. “Right now, there’s no ‘they’. There’s only you, Park Jihoon. It’s all that matters.”

“But it does matter,” Jihoon retorted. “What others think matters, to me.”

“Then let’s change the ‘they’ to me, Lai Guanlin.”

Jihoon’s protests died down.

“If you are willing, that is,” Guanlin added. He withdrew a little, turning into the child that Jihoon had first met in the party once again, as if he is slightly afraid that he would say something to make Jihoon leave him.

Jihoon laughed, and he tiptoed.

He gave him a small, gentle peck. 

Their soft lips brushed against each other, warm and bursting with feelings, sealing an unspoken promise held between two youths.

When Jihoon pulled away, he smiled. A genuine smile, with no pretense. A true beauty had been unmasked before Lai Guanlin, and he beamed, his heart soaring as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“I like you, Lai Guanlin.”

“I want to take you on a date,” Jihoon said, wrapping his arms around the boy’s neck. “This weekend.”

“You have something in mind?"

"I’m changing my number. And you’ll be the only person who can have my number.”

Guanlin laughed, using his fingers to flick the smaller boy’s nose. “How about Woojin? You parents? Other friends?”

Jihoon stuck his tongue out playfully.

“If they’re not Lai Guanlin, they’re going to have to work for it.”

**Author's Note:**

> idk how uni works :'( im going by the british edu system
> 
> also I don't know why I spent so much time on this work (cough a feW WEEKs)? It's 5am now and I had too much tea and I can't sleep so...
> 
> thank you for reading, leave me some comments and talk to me on cc/twitter: @encredame
> 
> If you are interested in the Panwink Week event, follow @panwink_week on twitter


End file.
